


Forever and Always.

by Akaash1stan



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Ending, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Character Death, Cute, Heavy Angst, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Literally only has iwaoi the rest are just mentioned once or twice., M/M, One Shot, Sad, Sad Ending, Timeskip, Triggers, almost cried writing this, sob
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-17
Updated: 2021-02-16
Packaged: 2021-03-12 00:52:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,775
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29501592
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Akaash1stan/pseuds/Akaash1stan
Summary: There were 1/100 chances.Out of that, a 5% chance of death.“My life isn’t mine anymore,”In which Oikawa develops cancer; a timeline.
Relationships: Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou, Hanamaki Takahiro/Matsukawa Issei, Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru, Kozume Kenma/Kuroo Tetsurou
Kudos: 12





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> several triggers in this story, they're barely there though: Character death/death (alternate ending only), suicidal thoughts (implied), depression. etc. 
> 
> Please enjoy!

Days in the broad sunlight, the clouds drifting above the buildings, gliding. 

The breeze filled with salty air that washed over their faces. 

The warm sand that covered their toes. 

The crashing of the waves while Oikawa ran into them. 

“-Hey,” 

Iwaizumi snapped out of his daydream, focusing on the slightly trembling brunette that sat in front of him. 

“Yeah?” He responded. 

“Let’s go on a date today!” The brunette trilled. 

“No Shittykawa I have stuff to do today,” Iwaizumi muttered. 

“Like m-” Iwaizumi covered Oikawa’s mouth before he could finish the sentence. 

“Shut up,” 

“Never, Iwa-chan~” 

“Why the hell not Oikawa-”

“Because!” The brunette chirped. 

They went out on a date that day, despite Iwaizumi’s protests, Oikawa convinced him to take him shopping, and they went to a festival. 

~~  
Three months later Oikawa went in for a check up and came back looking defeated. 

“What Oikawa, you didn’t get taller?” Iwaizumi teased as he began prepping lunch. 

“I grew two centimeters mind you!” Oikawa shot back. 

“Then what?” 

“I’ll tell you later, I’m going to the court,” 

“Don’t you want lunch?”

“I’ll eat later, or you can bring it over and we can practice together-” Oikawa opened the door and stepped out. 

“Ugh, why do I have to bring it?” Iwaizumi muttered, chopping some tomatoes. 

~~

Oikawa arrived shortly at the gym. Immediately he threw himself into practice, serving endlessly, setting, trying to spike by himself. He immersed himself into his work, trying to distract himself. 

Minutes seemed to pass like seconds, and hours like minutes. 

His phone started ringing when he completed the cycle twice. It was Iwa-chan. 

“Why are you not home yet, Kawa!” Iwaizumi practically yelled into the phone. Oikawa flinched, having put the phone up to his ear, and dropped the phone on the floor. 

“Fuck,” Oikawa remarked, picking it up slowly. 

“What, Oikawa-” Iwaizumi said in a condescending tone. 

“I dropped my phone cause you _screamed into my ear_ ,” He seethed. 

“Not my fault, Tooru, it’s fucking three am in the morning and you haven’t come home yet?” 

“Who is this ‘Tooru’ you speak of Iwa-chan!” Oikawa snickered. 

“Come. Home.” 

“Okayyy,” 

The phone disconnected, and Oikawa picked up his gym bag, loaded his volleyball in it, his shoes, and took out his change of clothes to change into in the locker room. 

After changing, Oikawa trudged out of the gym, through the sharp cold air of winter. By the time he got home, his nose and cheeks were bright red and his lips were on the edge of turning purple. 

He stepped into his and Iwaizumi’s apartment with a, “I’m home Iwa-chan!” and left his gym bag and peeled most of his clothes off to jump into bed and snuggle in the blankets. 

“Why are you so fucking cold, Trashykawa-” Iwaizumi grumbled, wrapping an arm over the former’s shoulder. 

“Cause it was like three degrees outside,” Oikawa peeped. 

“Why didn’t you come home sooner?” 

“I didn’t notice that it was already three,” 

“You’re so dumb, you know?” 

“Yeah, Iwa chan” Oikawa snuggled closer into Hajime. 

After some time, Iwaizumi spoke up, “What happened at the doctor’s office?” 

Oikawa didn’t stir, he didn’t want to move, he didn’t want to tell him. Oikawa didn’t want to break Iwaizumi. 

They fell asleep easily that night. One of the last. 

~~

Oikawa awoke peacefully, in bliss, in paradise. The birds chirped faintly outside, the sunlight trickling in through the windows. He turned to Hajime, awake, and staring at the barren ceiling. 

“Hi Iwa-chan,” Oikawa whispered. 

Iwaizumi grunted a response, barely acknowledging Oikawa. 

The latter just stared at Iwaizumi’s face, at his features, and at his expression. 

“Are you going to tell me what happened at the doctor’s office?” Iwaizumi questioned. 

“Soon, Iwa-chan, be patient! We should have breakfast first!” Oikawa turned the topic away from his visit at the doctor’s. 

“Stop changing the topic, tell me now,” He insisted. 

Oikawa sighed, “Didn’t you hear what I just said? Patience and breakfast!” 

“Fine,” Iwaizumi stepped out of the bed and went to the kitchen. 

Oikawa pouted. He’d wanted some more cuddles, but he followed Iwaizumi out, choosing to lounge on the couch while Iwaizumi went to prepare breakfast. 

The scent of pancakes and butter drifted from the kitchen to Oikawa’s spot in the living room. 

The former got up and followed it to the kitchen island, where two plates of pancakes sat with glasses of orange juice.

“Iwa-chan! You did all this for me?!” Oikawa remarked.

Iwaizumi rolled his eyes, “You see anyone else here?”

“Ah! So it really is all for meeeeee!” 

Iwaizumi rolled his eyes again, motioning for Oikawa to start eating. 

The couple dug in, devouring everything in the span of ten minutes, with no conversation between the two.

As they finished Iwaizumi asked the question again, “Are you ever going to tell me what happened?”

Oikawa sighed in defeat, “You got me Iwa-chan! But- to be honest, it’d be better if i didn't tell you~”

“What?” Iwaizumi answered flatly, “What could it be?” Although his tone seemed slightly condescending, the worry in his eyes was evident.

“...” Oikawa pursed his lips, thinking, “...The doctors think I might have cancer,”

Oikawa was met with silence as Iwaizumi attempted to process his words. 

“But- it's not confirmed right?” Iwaizumi asked hesitantly.

“Yeah, but the symptoms are there,the lymph nodes are there, and they know why it developed,”

“But you still aren't fully sure?”

“Mhmm…” 

“What kind?” Iwaizumi’s voice wavered slightly.

“....Uhm,- Breast cancer?”

“What?” 

“Yeeeah?” Oikawa winced at the look on the other male’s face.

“Wait, fuck- how?”

“Not sure, but it is possible,”

“Well no shit,”

“Sooo…” Oikawa trailed off.

“How? Why?” Iwaizumi muttered under his breath.

“The stress, and the anxiety… from-“ 

“Fuck, it was volleyball wasn’t it-“ Iwaizumi cut him off with his revelation.

Oikawa didn’t respond. 

“I knew I should’ve stopped you from practicing so much,” 

“You didn't know that this would happen,” Oikawa reassured.

“I should’ve done it, I should’ve been a better boyfriend,”

~~

Iwaizumi was stricken with shock as he heard Oikawa pronounce the word _cancer._ The intense sinking feeling in his stomach as he tried to process the brunette’s words.

The series of questions that was in line with his train of thought. A long conversation.

“When are you going to get tested and confirmed?” Iwaizumi asked.

“In two days time,” Oikawa answered, a slight grin on his face. Iwaizumi could see through him, could see the worry and anxiety behind his farce.

“....I can go with you if you want,”

“I’ll be fine, you can come if you want, but i’ll be fine on my own,”

“Kay, I’ll go then,”

“Thanks, Iwa-chan,”

The former grunted in response. The two got up to start cleaning the table and wash the dishes.

* * *

_Two days later_

“Oikawa-san? We have your results,” the nurse entered the room, a neutral expression plastered on her face.

“Hah? What are they? Am I going to die?” Oikawa joked, his hands fidgeting in his lap.

With a sigh, she answered, “The screening came back positive,”

The fake smile and positivity was slapped off of Oikawa’s face, “Fuck,” he muttered.

“What are we going to do from here?” Iwaizumi took the lead.

“We're removing the source of the cancer cells, for men it's more common to do a mastectomy rather than a lumpectomy…” she trailed off, reading from the paper.

“... _the fuck?_ ” Oikawa muttered under his breath, “Explain please?” 

“For most males, they don't get the option to pick between the two because the lymph node is in a spot where we cannot perform a lumpectomy, but thankfully, you can pick.” She inhaled, “Basically, a Lumpectomy is where we cut out the part where the cancer cells are, and a mastectomy is when we cut out all the breast tissue,”

“So, a lumpectomy has higher chances of a relapse?” Iwaizumi suggested.

“Yes, but Oikawa-san can pick between the two, of course a chance of a relapse is much lower for men because breast cancer isn’t as common in them,”

“Hiroko-chan, I told you to call me Tooru,” Oikawa sighed. He quite disliked honorifics.

“...How about Oikawa, just without anything?” Hiroko suggested.

“Fine, we’ll settle,” Oikawa pouted, “By the way, I don’t care which method we do, I don’t give a damn about this,” he motioned to his chest, “But Iwa-chan might mind~” 

Iwaizumi rolled his eyes, the blood rushing to his face. He scoffed.

Hiroko chuckled, “I’m sure he’s fine with it, if you do get a mastectomy, you absolutely can get implants~”

“Hm, that means I could go from this to like a B cup!” Oikawa joked, “Hiroko-chan you’re such a great nurse!”

“Just doing my job,” She said, turning to leave, “We’ll have the paperwork ready for you in about ten minutes,” 

“Sure thing!” 

~~

Iwaizumi took the clipboard of paperwork for the surgery and information on breast cancer. There were several attached forms that he took upon himself to complete. The doctor, who came in earlier, explained the reasoning behind why Oikawa might’ve developed his illness. 

“There have been two previous family cases of cancer, a very high stage, and the same kind. However, it was quite a few generations back so it shouldn’t be as risky. So...” He flipped a page, “I would say the main cause of this would be extreme stressors in your life, and quite a bit of overworking,”

Iwaizumi shot a glare at Oikawa, who looked back at him in confusion. He himself didn’t realize the intense pressure he put on himself to become better. 

“The type of breast cancer you’ve been diagnosed with is Stage 3, Noninvasive breast cancer. This is only for now though, your condition could worsen overtime,” The doctor warned. 

“Can you explain what Noninvasive means?” Oikawa muttered, “I didn’t bother searching anything because I was scared~” 

“No problem, Noninvasive breast cancer basically means that the cancer cells are only in one part of your breast and have or will not begin spreading,” He looked at Oikawa through his glasses, “However, since we caught this at an early stage and it isn’t too serious yet, we don’t know if the situation may change,” He paused, reading over the documents in his hand, “Noninvasive breast cancer is the same thing as saying you have Stage three breast cancer, If i’m not wrong,” 

Oikawa nodded, digesting the information, “What about the mastectomy; once I do it, am I cured?” 

“No, you aren’t, for that you’d have to get radiation and possibly Chemotherapy, to make sure that there are no cancer cells left. By the way, I wanted to talk about mastectomy. I personally would say that a lumpectomy would work better for you, mainly because it’s less costly and also mastectomy is rarely used in these cases, since there isn’t much of a reason for them. You’re probably not going to relapse,” 

“Hm, I’ll probably take that then… although does that mean that I still need to do the other stuff?” 

“Yes, since we saw you have two lymph nodes, you should most definitely take the opportunity to do chemotherapy and radiation afterwards,” 

~~

“Yeah, we can schedule your initial surgery for Monday, three weeks from now, I trust you know what standard procedure is for surgeries, given your knee?” Hiroko said, the keys clicking away on her laptop.

“Mhmm,” Oikawa nodded, his eyes directed at his lap. 

They walked to the car in silence, the two thinking over the process and what they were going to do. Iwaizumi didn’t notice until they sat in the car, that silent tears had fallen from Oikawa’s face. 

“Hey, It’s gonna be alright,” The dark haired man murmured comforting words to the other, placing his hand on Oikawa’s cheek. 

“I’m scared, Hajime,” Oikawa whimpered, burying his face into his shoulder. 

“I know, we’re going to get through this together, you’re going to get through this,” 

“What if I don’t?” Oikawa sobbed harder, his tears wetting Iwaizumi’s shirt. That was the least of his worries, though. 

“You will, trust me Tooru,”

“I love you, Hajime,” 

“Me too,” 

~~

The surgery arrived quickly, and Oikawa recovered quickly as well. His first words as he woke up were, “I’m alive! Wow, I thought I might die or something!” In which Iwaizumi responded, “Dumbass, they were just sleeping meds, you can’t die from those,” 

“Have you ever heard of…. overdosing, Hajime?” Oikawa dozed off, his recent outburst just a resurface from the meds. 

~~

“So, for chemotherapy, you can pick from no cold cap, or a cold cap,” Hiroko explained.

“What is a cold cap?” Oikawa chirped, bouncing in his seat. 

“It’s to prevent your hair from falling out, however it hurts, like a brain freeze five times intensified,” 

Oikawa gaped at the thought of his hair falling out, instantly blurting, “I’ll do the cold cap! I’ll suffer for my beauty! Beauty is pain!” 

Iwaizumi scoffed, “Why would you take even more pain?” 

“I am NOT dying ugly, Iwa-chan!!” 

“Who said you were dying Shittykawa?!” Iwaizumi shot back. 

“You neverr knoooowww,” Oikawa stuck his tongue out. 

“Ok, so remember, your first session is next week,” Hiroko chimed. 

“Yes, Hiroko-chan! I’ll be there, 10 am sharp!” Oikawa trilled back. 

~~

Oikawa’s first chemotherapy session went decently. They struggled with the cold cap a little bit, and Oikawa said it really did feel like a brain freeze times 100. 

“Iwa-channnn! Why’s it hurt so much?!” He whined, holding his head.

“You’ve got five minutes left, plus you chose this for yourself,” 

“This is sooo unbearableeeeeee!”

“Would you rather lose your hair?”

“NO! I couldn’t!”

“Then, tolerate it,” 

Oikawa moped the rest of the five minutes. 

The next two sessions went the same, Oikawa gradually learned to bear it. He acted the same, the change was almost invisible. 

It was only the calm before the storm. 

Oikawa gradually became a more muted version of himself five sessions in, he didn’t speak as much, didn’t eat as much, didn’t do anything much. 

He mostly just slept, or stared at the wall. 

He even looked paler. Duller. He didn’t maintain his looks anymore, trying to work through the pain that the chemotherapy gave him. 

He was an emotionless shell of himself. 

“Hey, Tooru,” Iwaizumi said, a tray of food in hand, ready to deliver to Oikawa in their bed. The former turned his head slowly to make eye contact with Iwaizumi, a small smile forming on his lips. Iwaizumi returned the smile, gently placing the tray of food on Oikawa’s lap. 

Oikawa looked at the food, a neutral expression. The only thing he would eat with joy these days was milk bread. The rest was just an obligation and something to keep him alive. He didn’t eat food just to eat it, he ate it so he could be alive. To survive. 

He picked at the food, took a few small bites, a few more. Finished half a glass of water. 

“Hey, Iwa-chan?” Oikawa whispered as he moved the food around his plate. 

“Yeah, Tooru?” 

“Should I quit the cold cap?” 

“Do you want to?” 

Oikawa shook his head- halfway, before nodding, as if he couldn’t decide. 

“I want to keep my hair, but I don’t want the pain that comes with it,” He chewed on his lip absentmindedly. 

“Well, do you think the pain is worth it for your hair?” 

“I don’t know,” 

“Can I offer my opinion?” Iwaizumi asked, 

Oikawa nodded, “Well, the way I see it, I think you should quit, you’re struggling enough already, and your hair can grow back, eventually. In the meantime, you can wear a head cap, hats, wigs even,” Iwaizumi held up his fingers, counting the options.

Oikawa grinned, “Did you look all that up? In case I wanted to quit?” 

Iwaizumi rolled his eyes, “I need to be prepared; If you aren’t going to do it, I have to,” 

“...Thank you, Hajime,” 

“It’s not a problem,” 

“Iwa-chan?” 

“Hmm,” 

“Sometimes, it’s hard to live,” Oikawa whispered, barely audible, “Sometimes I feel like I’m not a person anymore, like a puppet,” 

“You’re still you, Tooru,” 

“I know, but it feels like i’m not anymore,” Silent tears ran down his cheeks, “I can barely get up and walk, and when I finally feel okay, my next chemo session comes around,” 

Oikawa was met with silence, Iwaizumi unsure how to respond. 

“Hajime, if I ever try something, make sure you stop me,” Oikawa wiped his tears away, making way for more tears, and he collapsed, moving the tray of food to the floor, as he curled up and began sobbing. 

“Tooru, you’re going to make it through this,” 

“I can’t, it’s so hard,” 

“You can do this, you’ll make it, we’ll make it,” 

“I just want it to stop,” 

“Soon, Tooru, you have two more, and then a three month break,” 

“I can’t make it, that's three months away too,” 

“You’re so close, you can’t give up Tooru,” 

“I’ve suffered for almost a year, how can I go on?” Oikawa sobbed into Iwaizumi’s chest, “I just want to be normal, I just want to be happy again,” 

“You’ll be happy soon Tooru, You can be happy now,” 

“It’s too difficult,” 

They talked to each other, switching roles from what they used to. Iwaizumi countered Oikawa’s negative comments with positive ones. They fell asleep together, Iwaizumi stroking Oikawa’s face and hair. Kissing his nose, his eyelids, his cheeks. 

Before they fell to slumber, Oikawa said, “Thank you, Hajime, I love you,” 

* * *

Summer came and passed, and soon, Oikawa was starting radiation. He was half way there. He was so close, and Iwaizumi was so happy that he had made it through. 

“IWA-CHAN! Hiiiiii!” He said as he exited from his first session. 

“How was it?” 

“It was ok!! Nothing like chemo!” 

“You feel okay?” 

“Yepp!” 

“You think you can go out today?” 

Oikawa nodded, “Yes! I feel like I could play volleyball for hours!!” 

When he was diagnosed, Oikawa had decided to leave the team, to recover, and he hadn’t played much volleyball since. He had watched several games, though. 

“You can’t play yet,” 

“Nooo! I know! I just feel like I could!” 

“Fine, then go get ready,”

“Oooh! Iwa-chan are you taking me out on a date?

“...just go and get ready,” 

“Okiiii!” 

Twenty minutes later they were walking through the festival they had visited just a year ago.

“Oooooo! Iwa-chan! I remember this place!”

“It's the summer festival, you come here every year,” Iwaizumi scoffed.

“I didn't know it was already happening!”

“That's because you've been holed up inside half the year,”

“I wonder why?” Oikawa said, mocking iwaizumi’s tone of voice.

“Shut up,”

“Oo! Lets go to see that show over there!” Oikawa pointed excitedly behind Iwaizumi.

They went and bought a bag full of food, takoyaki, souvenirs, gifts, and a bunch of other things Oikawa insisted they buy

~~

“And that’s a wrap!” Oikawa’s cancer doctor turned off the radiation device, allowing Oikawa to put his clothes on before turning and scrolling through her laptop.

“I’m finally done!? I'm not diseased?!” Oikawa squealed.

“You were already cured after the lumpectomy, the rest was to make sure it was all gone and to get rid of stray cancer cells,” she said.

“Are you kidding me Aiko-chan?! I could've been done two years ago?” Oikawa wailed.

“You're still not completely done yet, you still have to take hormone regulation meds, and some other stuff to try and prevent a relapse,” She typed out a few more things on her laptop, “Technically, you’ll never be done with cancer,” 

Oikawa groaned, “Ughhhh, I already have a bunch of trauma! Now you gotta trigger me everyday by making me take meds?” 

“Unfortunately, yes. Unless you want to go through all this again, you need to take all the necessary precautions,” 

“Iwa-chan! Why do I have to do this?” Oikawa wailed. 

“Did you not just listen to her just now?” Iwaizumi grumbled. 

“I did! But I need you to clarify,” 

“You’re a fully grown adult, Tooru,” 

“Too badddd!” 

~~

“Iwa-chan!! You wanna go out and eat with me, Makki, and Mattsun?” 

“Maybe, I’m doing something right now,” Iwaizumi called from the study. 

They had eventually saved enough money to buy a house, it wasn’t cramped, like the apartment, but it wasn’t a mansion either. Iwaizumi called it a house, and OIkawa called it a cottage. 

“What are you doing that could prevent you from going out?” 

“Some stuff,” 

“What? Taxes? You know Aka-chan could do that for you!” 

“He wouldn’t, he already does Bokuto’s and his, he doesn’t need ours,”

“He’s so nice though!” 

“Well, we don’t need to take advantage of his generosity,” 

“Ok then! Bye Iwa-chan! I love youuuuuu!” 

“You too,”

“Forever and always,” the two said, Oikawa giggling, “Love you, Iwa-chan!"


	2. Alternate Ending

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't cry~
> 
> Have fun down there:

_Two years after Oikawa finished radiation:_

Iwaizumi’s phone rang in the other room. He got up from the computer to go and fetch it. 

“Hello?” 

“Iwaizumi-san? It’s Akaashi- “ A distant siren sounded from the speaker. Iwaizumi flinched, worry instantly invading his thoughts. Oikawa had gone out with Akaashi and the old setters from high school. They went to go shopping and to meet up again, “-Something happened to Oikawa,” 

Iwaizumi’s eyes instantly widened, “What happened, where are you?” 

“We called an ambulance, meet us at _______ Hospital,” 

“I’m on my way,” Iwaizumi’s hands began trembling as he quickly pressed the disconnect button, grabbing the keys off the table before exiting into the garage to drive to the hospital. 

He arrived shortly, meeting with the receptionist, and filling out a form, before he was told to sit in the waiting room. 

What happened to Oikawa? He should’ve asked Akaashi what happened. Did they get into an accident? Was he even alive? 

Akaashi, Kenma, Sugawara, and Atsumu (followed by Kuroo and Bokuto) trailed into the waiting room, all their faces coated with worry and remorse. They found Iwaizumi staring into the wall, bumping his leg and chewing his nails. 

“Iwaizumi-san?” Akaashi sat in the seat next to Iwaizumi. 

He turned to look at Akaashi, “Is he okay?” 

“We don’t know,” Atsumu piped up. 

“He had been complaining a little that his stomach hurt, but when we asked about it, he just said that it was probably a minor stomach ache, but then he collapsed and fell onto the sidewalk,” Sugawara explained, silently so they didn’t disturb others in the room. 

“Iwaizumi-san?” A nurse called from the doorway to the patient rooms. 

“That’s me,” Iwaizumi answered, standing up and slowly making his way to the nurse. 

“You’re here for Oikawa Tooru, correct?” 

Iwaizumi nodded curtly. 

“Follow me,” She walked into the hallway, along with Iwaizumi. 

They arrived into Oikawa’s room, and the nurse left him with, “I’ll be back in about ten minutes to discuss what’s happened, and the action we can take,” 

“Tooru?” Iwaizumi murmured, sitting in the chair next to the cot. 

Tooru bristled, still unconscious. An EKG sat next to the bed, along with an IV, and several other tubes that Iwaizumi didn’t know were for. 

“What happened to you?” his voice was still soft, as he brushed some stray strands of hair from Tooru’s face. 

Iwaizumi sighed as the nurse entered the room, with the all too familiar clipboard of paperwork, “What happened to Tooru?” 

The nurse hesitantly responded, a face that had I really feel bad for saying this written all over it. “Cancer relapse….” 

Iwaizumi flinched, eyes widening, “Fuck-” his eyes twitched, “how?” 

“He wasn’t taking as good care of himself as he should’ve, there are signs of over exertions all through his body, as well as emotional or mental stress,” 

Iwaizumi’s fingertips pulsed, his heartbeat increasing and the echo of it coursing through his body, “....can we save him?” 

“We’re currently trying to keep in a stable condition, and he’ll eventually awaken soon, as you can see. But his body condition will go on a slow decline from here on in. The cancer started spreading to other major organs, and the chances,” she inhaled shakily, arms trembling, “-the chances of survival are really low,” 

Iwaizumi’s knees collapsed and he fell to the ground, pinching the bridge of his nose, trying to control his breathing. Droplets of tears fell through and rolled down his arm. 

“I’ll get you the details later...I- ‘m sorry,” 

~

A rustling in the corner snapped Iwaizumi out of his thoughts. The noise was followed by a timid voice, wavering and barely there,

“...........Iwa-chan?”

Hajime had moved to a chair in the corner, head in his hands, thinking about their next move. 

“-Tooru?” He lifted his head to look at Oikawa, his eyes barely open and staring at the ceiling. 

Oikawa sighed heavily, dragging a hand over his face, “So, am I going to die?” His voice was barely audible, stopping every few syllables. 

“They say- you- you probably will,” 

Oikawa sighed again, “I should’ve died the first time, why make me suffer again if I could’ve just suffered and died? Instead of suffering then being happy and then suffering and dying,” 

“Don’t say that,” 

“It’s true though,” Oikawa retorted. 

“How am I going to live without you?” Hajime’s voice was a whisper, not meant for anyone to hear but himself. 

“Move on,” Oikawa’s voice hitched, and he winced slightly. 

“How the fuck am I going to move on?” Iwaizumi muttered, “You’ll live through this, there’s no reason to,” 

“Stop kidding yourself, Hajime, they’ve got me on morphling yet I still somehow feel the most immense pain imaginable,” 

“Do I have to call the nurse?” 

“I’m trying to prove a point, not getting you kicked out,” Oikawa rolled his eyes, “Iwa-chan, I don’t want you to see me on the edge of death and have you sob over my body, so leave and never come back, find someone new, ‘kay?” He wrinkled his nose, the pain visible in his eyes. 

“I can’t,” 

“Well, you can, just walk out of the room,” 

“Not like that, and you know it,” Iwaizumi scowled, “I can’t just leave,” 

“Fine, then I won’t let you back in here and I’ll block you,” 

“What is the point of that?” Hajime muttered, “I can ask about you through Akaashi or something,” 

“Must you make everything so annoying, Hajime?” 

“You’re one to say,” 

“Look, Iwa-chan, I’ll be frank with you,” Oikawa cleared his throat, “I can barely talk, can barely breathe, and I can feel my heartbeat grow slightly slower every fucking second, and I want- no I need you to leave before you watch me go. I don’t want you to cry over me, if I even somehow escape out of this alive, I still won’t contact you. I don’t want you to fucking cry over me,” 

“I can’t,”

“ _Why the hell not?_ ” Oikawa seethed between gritted teeth. 

“Because I love you, and I can’t leave you,” Iwaizumi murmured, to his own disdain. 

“Aww, how touching, Iwa-chan, but like, that’s the exact reason why _ya gotta leave_ ,” 

“How do you have so much temper even now?” 

“It’s my beauty Iwa-chan, you’re confusing it with anger issues,” 

“The hell I am,” 

“Go home, we can talk later Hajime,” 

“I’m not leaving,” 

“Fine, see you tomorrow,” 

~~

Iwaizumi was jostled awake by a nurse, who apologized quickly, before instructing him to exit the room. He was sat outside in the hall as he awoke and Iwaizumi found himself very confused. 

~  
“He’s in critical condition, his stomach stopped working a few seconds ago and they’re trying to fix it,” 

Iwaizumi didn’t respond. The next few days went bye in a blur, a daze. He remembered making the commute from their house and to the hospital every day and night. 

~~  
“Hey, Tooru?”

“Hajime?” Oikawa’s voice wasn’t even a whisper. 

“I love you,” 

Oikawa smiled, his eyes tearing up, “I love you too,” 

“Why did this happen to you?” 

“I don’t know,” 

Oikawa’s hair was matted to his forehead, his face had the same pallor as it did during chemo, and his eyes were always half closed. His lips were chapped, and he had several tubes connected to his body and were keeping him alive. 

“I’m going to die soon Iwa-chan,” 

“Don’t”

“That’s not something I can control,” 

“I can’t live without you,” Iwaizumi shuddered, tears starting to race down his cheeks. 

“Learn to, Hajime. Move on,” 

“How can I move on without you?” 

“You can,”

Iwaizumi rested his head between his hands, “I’ll miss you,”

“I already miss you,”

Oikawa’s eyes started closing, as if he were going to sleep, “One day, Hajime, I’ll see you above the clouds, and we can be happy together,”

“I love you Tooru, forever and always,”

The Ekg flatlined, and Iwaizumi’s life and light was gone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading! I appreciate it very much!

**Author's Note:**

> The summary is never actually mentioned in the story. oopsies. 
> 
> Thank you for reading! If you wanna try to cry, that's next chapter: Alternate ending (sadness)  
> I know that some of my information isn't completely accurate, and that doctor's offices + hospitals don't work like this-


End file.
